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One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?